Author’s Note: So this is a post that I actually wrote around June 10th right after the Democratic Primary Season ended. Please keep this in mind as you read.
June 10, 2008
Last week marked an historic moment in U.S. history – for the first time a Black man cinched a major party nomination for President of the United States.
My reaction…”She’s[Hillary Clinton] still in the race. Don’t hold your breath.” I know part of my reaction comes from my mom teaching me to be ready with a plan B but I also know a larger part of my reaction comes from my personal experiences with expectations and disappointment:
Two years ago I applied to go to law school. I thought I had a good application – heck I actually wanted to make a difference and not just collect a corporate lawyer pay check. However, I did not make it to law school (I was not upset about it but that’s the subject of another story).
This year I applied for PhD programs (After applying for law school I figured out which advanced degree would allow me to really do what I want to do). Once again rejection reared its ugly head but this time at the end an acceptance letter entered my mailbox…My reaction…I re-read that letter at least five times making sure that it was real. To this day, even though I have a confirmation of acceptance of admission the number of people I have told about being accepted into a PhD program is limited.
The above examples contribute to my muted reaction to Obama “clinching” the Democratic nomination and the reason for the reaction is my fear that something that I have worked so hard for for so long being snatched away. Furthermore, I understand that I am still in Democratic Primary battle mode (I traveled to 2 states and Puerto Rico, where I have to explain why I as a woman chose Obama over Hillary…Though to be truthful I also chose Biden and Richardson over her but I digress)
Honestly, the best way to explain it is to say I’m like a person who has spent too much time on a treadmill — you know you are off that rotating belt but your body is still gliding as you walk across the room.
Give me some time and I’ll be ready to celebrate and help Obama change his address to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. In the meantime I will be fighting the part of me, getting smaller by the day, that is hoping Senator Obama has a small team keeping an eye on those superdelegates that pushed him to the nomination to assure they don’t “jump ship” because Hillary’s race is suspended not ended.