20 Days Down! 20 Days to Go! Yay!
I can’t believe it’s been twenty days already! One one side I’m happy and on the other I’m worried because this summer has flown by and I have LOTS to do still 😦
Today’s topic is about resorting relationships; another sore spot for me. Though I have to say I love Rev. Warren’s perspective on this, like I mentioned yesterday, I love that he distinguishes forgiveness and trust. There is so much that could be done with this distinction and I know I can take that tidbit with me to work, to my home, to family and back again.
However, as refreshing as all of this is, one thing that Rev. Warren also shares with support from The Bible is that it is important for us to work on restoring relationships no matter who is at fault and this is where I went, “oh oh…I can’t just sit back on this.”
If you want God’s blessing on your life and you want to be known as a child of God, you must learn to be a peacemaker. Jesus said, “God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God [Matthew 5:9 NLT].” Notice Jesus didn’t say, “Blessed are the peace lovers,” because everyone loves peace. Neither did he say, “Blessed are the peaceable,” who are never disturbed by anything. Jesus said, “Blessed are those who work for peace” — those who actively seek to resolve conflict. Peacemakers are rare because peacemaking is hard work.
So in this chapter he shares seven (the number of completion) biblical steps to restoring fellowship. These steps were so good that I might have to type them up and post them somewhere as a nice reminder (I have already said that this book along with 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and How to Win Friends and Influence People need to be books I read every year as I need to be reminded frequently of the tips and pearls of wisdom these books offer).
Today I’ll share the insight of two of these biblical steps along with some of my reflections:
1 – Talk to God First
In talking with God there is a chance that God will solve the problem for you without you having to do anything. If not, God will guide your steps so that you approach the conflict in wisdom and with grace and understanding. This section shares the following tidbit:
When you expect anyone — a friend, spouse, boss, or family member — to meet a need that only God can fulfill, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and bitterness. No one can meet all of your needs except God.
2 – Reconciliation Not Resolution
Some when discussing conflict mention the, “we can agree to disagree,” stance. Reconciliation not resolution is similar to this but without the bitterness that can sometimes come from people using the quoted phrase above. What is the difference between these two “R” words?:
Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem. When we focus on reconciliation, the problem loses significance and often becomes irrelevant.
Reconciliation is not about being right or wrong or better or worse, reconciliation focuses on the idea that you are important to me in spite of the issue on the table. It also says that there is more to our relationship than this thing so lets set up some rules around this issue until we can/if we can come to a solution and move forward with the more important thing…the relationship.
To close, today’s Question to Consider is, “Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today?”
For me that answer is easy, my old roommate. We had a conflict a few years back and I have yet to have that clearing conversation to discuss what really happened on my side and why I was really hurt by what happened. I’ve thought more and more about having this conversation and today’s chapter is confirmation that this is a conversation I need to have and sooner rather than later.
Until tomorrow, si Dios quiere,